2 Wochen

Juhu, in 2 Wochen bin ich zuhause!
Damit alle verstehen können mit welchem Wahnsinn wir uns hier auseinandersetzen müssen hier der "Mission language translation guide" den mein Kollege für seinen Nachfolger vorbereitet hat:

Mission Language	Translation
(Obj.) A “Challenge”	Something that is obviously wrong.  May be anywhere on a spectrum from “minor annoyance” through to “regularly results in pointless and avoidable deaths”
“Some challenges remain”	This is an actual, ongoing disaster.
“Please tell me your challenges…”	Why are you still doing such a terrible job?
(Obj.) (French) Putain	Noise made when a French person encounters a “challenge” (see above)
Thanks for your input with that…	Please don’t mention that ever again.  You are embarrassing yourself.  Please stop.  Now.
We will try to incorporate that into the next budget	Are you actually serious?  Have you any idea how much these things cost?
Please CC me next time	If you disrespect me again in this way I will put you in charge of digging latrines, by hand, in DRC
Meeting	A social gathering involving Mandazi and tea, with little or no tangible progress on work related matters
I will follow that up..	Forget it.  I’m not doing it.  Do it yourself.
I will follow that up.. [alternative definition]	I will make sure this happens
I will follow that up.. [alternative definition]	If this doesn’t happen I actually might kill someone.
That’s an interesting / novel clinical approach	Do you really want this patient to die? Is that why you are doing this?
Trial of conservative management	Management of what is a clearly a surgical case, chosen on basis of cost / convenience with little or no regard to the likely clinical outcome
Paracentesis	Blind insertion of a green needle somewhere kind of inferiolateral in the abdomen.  Done because you don’t trust the ultrasound / your clinical judgement AND you don’t like the patient.
Poli Poli [Swahili]	Literally: Slowly slowly. Actual usage: Do not expect this to happen any time soon.  Regardless of how important it is.
(v.) to Communicate	To tell someone else your opinion.  Strictly a one-way process.  Not to be confused with an actual conversation.
Did you communicate this already?	If you had bothered to tell me about this before I would have informed you that this idea is terrible and will never happen.
Normal Process	A process which has been previously proven to not work, but which we are still persisting with.

:-)